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Being a mom of boys is a special assignment. As a #boymom we get to raise boys to become men. We get to teach them how to fight like a mighty warrior, then how to love so very tenderly. When I was a brand new mom, a friend of mine gave me the most tender parenting tips and advice for boy moms.
Parenting tips and advice for boy moms
She encouraged me to never demean my boys.
You see, the world doesn’t treat boys and men the same. Especially women. Women treat men poorly. We demean and belittle men and often show very little respect for men. Teachers do, then coworkers do it and we are teaching our boys that they don’t deserve to be respected.
What does it mean?
The word demean means to “cause a severe loss of dignity and respect.”
As a Mom, I don’t want to cause a loss in my child’s dignity. I want them to be able to rise to every challenge that is placed in front of them.
Benefits of treating my boys with respect
They love and cherish me so so much. They watch out for me. When I cry they come and check on me, when I’m in pain, they pray for me. And when my daddy isn’t here, they work with me.
Respect goes both ways
Since I try very hard to respect my boys, they display more respect for me. It is very rare that they disobey me. When they do, it’s because they feel their way is better.
Since my boys are almost teenagers, I can get a glimpse of what they will be like as young men. I am so proud of them!
They are respectful, intelligent and strangers notice. I think it is the best compliment in the world when a server at a restaurant, or their youth pastor, or their lunch room lady comes up to me and tells me how impressive my boys are. My husband and I work hard to teach our children respect and I’m so happy they treat others with respect too.
They are strong
Since my husband travels, I find myself doing things that need more strength than my body has. Why do I move furniture when my husband isn’t home?! But many times I find myself moving furniture and my boys are helping me move it.
Once they are done, I remind them of how strong they are that they could lift the table and help me!
God has entrusted two young men to me and I am doing my best to teach them how to communicate and respect people.
Now that they are older and we tease each other, they have asked me specifically not to mock them. Mocking is the same as demeaning. Once they asked me that, I apologized for my actions and respect was restored.
Training for life
My boys are learning to communicate with people the way adults should communicate with each other. Especially husband and wife. That’s my secret goal right now, to help them to be able to communicate their feelings so that their wife will be able to communicate hers.
Don’t get me wrong, we still have the occasional fistfight between brothers that only brothers understand. I had a brother and he treated me like I was a boy and we had our fair share of fist fights because sometimes boys think with their fists faster than their mouths.
Use words of affirmation
The minute I start telling my kids how much I have enjoyed watching them play a certain sport. Or listening to them to practice their piano, it makes them want to play more. Use words of affirmation when they are learning a new skill, like math or reading or how to use the power drill.
Last but not least
As a mom of boys, you are their biggest cheerleader. Your voice is loudest in their head and when they are old they will still hear your voice. So make sure what you are saying to your boy while he is young is encouraging, motivating and life-giving.
Boy moms are special because boys love their mama’s like none other. With all the quirks and surprises that come with being a boy, at the end of the day they will still come and sit with you and look for your love.
Stephanie has been blogging at Sticky Note Mom for 4 years. Before starting her blog she worked in the finance industry working on the floor of the Chicago Board of Trade to working for major financial institutions with personal financial planning and the mortgage industry. Now she shares all she has learned about frugal living to help others learn how to stop spending and start saving more.