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Have you ever been so offended or frustrated with family you just didn’t know what to say? Then you come to realization that friends are better than family. A couple months ago, we went and celebrated with our friends an event that only happens once in your life. When we first heard about the event, we were super excited about it, and we told them we wanted to go. We wanted to go and support our friends and be there for their kid. To be a supportive friend, because sometimes, friends are better than family.
This is what happened. I called my girlfriend a couple days before the event and several of her family members had called and canceled on her. My friend was devastated. She was so hurt that her own family wasn’t going to be at the event that only happens once in her kid’s life. This event was really important to her and it was causing so much grief. She called me ranting about it. She called and made sure that my family was going to be there.
Sometimes we need friends who are going to stand by and say you are important to me. The friend who is going to say we want to be there with you even if we don’t go to the party. They say, we want to be a part of your life. We need these friends because sometimes, family lets us down.
How do you know which friends you can invite?
The ones who have been there the longest. They are the ones who know what is important to you. The friends who were there when you were pregnant with the child and helped you eat the ice cream you craved the entire pregnancy. Those are your lifers. They are your “refrigerator” friends. The ones who come in through the garage and don’t care about the mess, but care about the love and the people who are in the mess.
We don’t always realize when we are planning an event that we may need to invite some friends too. It’s easy to invite friends to your children’s birthday party or to the BBQ in the summer. It’s not always easy to invite them to such an intimate event that is usually for family. But when you invite the friends, you realize who is really important in your life. Those who want to celebrate with you during the big events.
Realizing, Friends are more important than family
When family lets you down and your friends are there to stand in the gap. Our presence at the event spoke to everyone there. Her family knew we cared. His family knew we cared. They knew we understood the importance of the event. My favorite part of the event, besides watching her son, was when her Mom thanked me for being such a good friend to her daughter. Even now as I think about it I have chills on my arms.
I learned something from this event. That friendship can run as deep as family. Our culture is changing so quickly and friends are becoming our village to help us raise our children. We need to stop feeling guilty and sad about our family not wanting to develop the relationships that should mean so much to them. When you think about the immigrants who came to the United States with no one and nothing and they had to create these same kind of friendships because their family was in another country. Reflect on history, learn from it. You can grieve a little for the loss of the family relationship, but celebrate the friendship that has been placed to help ease the pain.
I will close with this. Are you in a spot where you are frustrated with your family? Frustrated with the relationship they aren’t choosing to have with you or your children, you need to remember this one thing. It is their loss! You and your children are amazing! You are so special to want to have the relationship with them. Not everyone thinks or feels like you do and your feeling of sadness over this family member who doesn’t seem to want to cultivate that relationship with you, is their loss. I know it’s hard, I know it’s sad, and I experience it myself. But I don’t let it keep me down. So pray for that family member and remember that you are awesome and your family is too!